Boredom and randomness...
Mar. 26th, 2004 08:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
newnumber6There's really no point to this entry or uniform theme, I'm just going to jabber on about whatever crosses my mindbecause, well, frankly, I'm bored. However, to protect you all, I'll put it behind a cut tag.
So, today I watched (or really, listened to) the DVD commentaries for Shindig, Out of Gas, and War Stories on my Firefly DVD set. Pretty good, though still none really matched the fun of the first one with Joss Whedon and Nathan Fillion. Still, some good things. I'll probably do the commentary for 'The Message' sometime this weekend, and save 'Objects in Space' for just after they play it on normal TV here.
I also watched some of the special features on Disc 4. Adam Baldwin (Jayne) singing the 'Hero of Canton' song, Joss Whedon singing the firefly theme, the gag reel, and one of the deleted scenes from 'Our Mrs. Reynolds' which was kinda cool though a bit odd too. Seemed 'off'. Maybe because it wasn't fully scored and there was none of the background music.
Also, yeah, I'll probably be moving out sooner rather than later. My Dad's been mentioning that they're probably going to sell this house and move up to Pickering. I'm welcome to come along, but it's just not going to happen. I need to be out on my own, or on my ownish (it looks likely that I may do the 'finding an apartment with my brother' thing). Of course, my Dad knows that I'm not going to be moving with him, he really isn't aware quite how soon I'm planning on moving.
Y'see, they keep mentioning, idly, 'When (my stepsister) moves out, sometimes this summer, he (me)'s going to be moving up to her room). They didn't really ask me, though I can certainly understand why they want me to, the fact that they didn't ask, they just sort of assumed I'd go along with it. They probably assume I'm going along with it, because whenever they bring it up (once again, never actually asking me, just sort ofmentioning it as something that was going to happen... not even as a 'laying down the law', just as though it didn't occur to them to ask) I don't say anything, really.
This (along with my own near inability to speak up if I can avoid it) is one of the reasons I'm keeping it to myself. That when they say, 'okay, it's time for you to move upstairs', I'm going to say, 'Well, actually, I'm not sure there's that much point because I'm looking for my own place now'. They don't consult me on their decision of where I should live, why should I consult them on mine?
The decision to move isn't really being made out of anger, just a matter of deciding what I want, what I can take, and what I can't take (that is, I want to move out on my own, I can take living here longer if I have my own space, which is the basement, not a small room right down the hall from everyone that I can't hide and be comfortable in the knowledge that I'm a floor away from anyone), and I can't take the reduction of personal space. The decision to keep quiet about it until the last moment, that's a bit from anger or annoyance, though I might have done that anyway. Initiating difficult conversations is... well, especially difficult for me.
Also, over the last few days I've been looking for an 'Xavier Institute for Higher Learning' T-shirt, grey with the school symbol in the middle. Found a couple places that might have what I want, waiting for replies to some e-mails on it. It's just such a nice shirt and is something that if you understood what it was (ie, was a fan), you'd recognize it, but if not you'd just think it was a school shirt... no pictures of superheroes or anything. So I can feel comfortable wearing it in public. And really, I just _want_ it. I'm not a clotheshorse. I wear almost exclusively plain, single color shirts if I can help it, with no designs. But I want that one.
Lately, I've been drifting a little more towards my own mental fantasy worlds than usual. I dunno, maybe it's just slowness in other areas, maybe it's a symptomatic of wanting to do something 'great' and really having no capability for that. I've also been thinking a lot more about story ideas lately, but I've yet to actually sit down and write anything.
Oh, and of course, my eyes have been bothering me a little more lately. My distance vision is very slowly getting worse. When I lean all the way back in my chair, my eyes strain a little and I get headaches after a while. Beyond the 'distance-reading' thing, there's an overall sheen of unreality to everything lately, like it's not really there, or that I'm somehow... removed from it. Like, I'm not actually inside my body watching everything, I'm just receiving the input from 'my' eyes and they're being transmitted to my brain, which is somewhere else. My other senses don't feel that disconnected, just vision.
Anyway, Wonderfalls is going to be on in a few, so I think I'll close this up.
So, today I watched (or really, listened to) the DVD commentaries for Shindig, Out of Gas, and War Stories on my Firefly DVD set. Pretty good, though still none really matched the fun of the first one with Joss Whedon and Nathan Fillion. Still, some good things. I'll probably do the commentary for 'The Message' sometime this weekend, and save 'Objects in Space' for just after they play it on normal TV here.
I also watched some of the special features on Disc 4. Adam Baldwin (Jayne) singing the 'Hero of Canton' song, Joss Whedon singing the firefly theme, the gag reel, and one of the deleted scenes from 'Our Mrs. Reynolds' which was kinda cool though a bit odd too. Seemed 'off'. Maybe because it wasn't fully scored and there was none of the background music.
Also, yeah, I'll probably be moving out sooner rather than later. My Dad's been mentioning that they're probably going to sell this house and move up to Pickering. I'm welcome to come along, but it's just not going to happen. I need to be out on my own, or on my ownish (it looks likely that I may do the 'finding an apartment with my brother' thing). Of course, my Dad knows that I'm not going to be moving with him, he really isn't aware quite how soon I'm planning on moving.
Y'see, they keep mentioning, idly, 'When (my stepsister) moves out, sometimes this summer, he (me)'s going to be moving up to her room). They didn't really ask me, though I can certainly understand why they want me to, the fact that they didn't ask, they just sort of assumed I'd go along with it. They probably assume I'm going along with it, because whenever they bring it up (once again, never actually asking me, just sort ofmentioning it as something that was going to happen... not even as a 'laying down the law', just as though it didn't occur to them to ask) I don't say anything, really.
This (along with my own near inability to speak up if I can avoid it) is one of the reasons I'm keeping it to myself. That when they say, 'okay, it's time for you to move upstairs', I'm going to say, 'Well, actually, I'm not sure there's that much point because I'm looking for my own place now'. They don't consult me on their decision of where I should live, why should I consult them on mine?
The decision to move isn't really being made out of anger, just a matter of deciding what I want, what I can take, and what I can't take (that is, I want to move out on my own, I can take living here longer if I have my own space, which is the basement, not a small room right down the hall from everyone that I can't hide and be comfortable in the knowledge that I'm a floor away from anyone), and I can't take the reduction of personal space. The decision to keep quiet about it until the last moment, that's a bit from anger or annoyance, though I might have done that anyway. Initiating difficult conversations is... well, especially difficult for me.
Also, over the last few days I've been looking for an 'Xavier Institute for Higher Learning' T-shirt, grey with the school symbol in the middle. Found a couple places that might have what I want, waiting for replies to some e-mails on it. It's just such a nice shirt and is something that if you understood what it was (ie, was a fan), you'd recognize it, but if not you'd just think it was a school shirt... no pictures of superheroes or anything. So I can feel comfortable wearing it in public. And really, I just _want_ it. I'm not a clotheshorse. I wear almost exclusively plain, single color shirts if I can help it, with no designs. But I want that one.
Lately, I've been drifting a little more towards my own mental fantasy worlds than usual. I dunno, maybe it's just slowness in other areas, maybe it's a symptomatic of wanting to do something 'great' and really having no capability for that. I've also been thinking a lot more about story ideas lately, but I've yet to actually sit down and write anything.
Oh, and of course, my eyes have been bothering me a little more lately. My distance vision is very slowly getting worse. When I lean all the way back in my chair, my eyes strain a little and I get headaches after a while. Beyond the 'distance-reading' thing, there's an overall sheen of unreality to everything lately, like it's not really there, or that I'm somehow... removed from it. Like, I'm not actually inside my body watching everything, I'm just receiving the input from 'my' eyes and they're being transmitted to my brain, which is somewhere else. My other senses don't feel that disconnected, just vision.
Anyway, Wonderfalls is going to be on in a few, so I think I'll close this up.
