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newnumber6Time for another edition of the XET Diaries. Looks like this’ll probably be the second to last, so I’m going to go even more self-indulgent than usual on this one…
Of all the plots we’ve done, I think my favorites were the Hastur related plots, based on the modified Hastur mythos in Delta Green (specifically, the sourcebook Countdown). We did a number of plots where the Columbia Branch got involved with them.
Quick summary for those who aren’t terribly familiar with it. Before DG Hastur was described as another tentacled monster related to Carcosa and the King in Yellow. After, it was not an entity at all, but rather a natural force of insidious entropy that some people worshipped as an entity because it seemed intelligent. Hastur tears things down from within, striking up and taking vulnerable people and civilizations. Typical themes of Hastur involve surrealism, alienation, unrestrained creative forces, melancholy and despair, decadence, and the aesthetics of the Victorian/Edwardian era (at least on Earth, partially because that’s when Hastur influence first began to worm its way into Earth). The King in Yellow was a banned play published around the turn of the 20th century, that drove anyone who read it mad dealing with the absorption of the alien city Yhtill by Carcosa, sort of a cosmic entropic sinkhole, a ghost metropolis more dreamlike than even the Dreamlands. The King in Yellow himself is a manifestation of Hastur that resembles a person and whose arrival means doom. The Hastur Vibe is almost like a mental virus and can be spread by others who are infected, through the King in Yellow play, or through the Yellow Sign, a symbol that appears to move when you’re looking at it. Another important figure is the Phantom of Truth, who wears a mask that is not a mask, and possesses someone in an area on the brink of being absorbed into Carcosa. The Phantom of Truth passes the final judgement.
There. Got that out of the way, hopefully not too confusingly because I’ll be referring to these elements pretty freely. Okay, I initially wanted to Hastur as a planned trilogy around an NPC named Max. He was a student, a relatively nice, though moderately annoying, guy who would gradually become insane.
The first part was the Hastur House plot, run by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
legionfalcon, where a bunch of students went to a party and put through a hellish experience where doors lead to the wrong places, everyone kept getting separated, and all around weird things started to happen. This was the beginning of their infection of the Hastur Vibe, although they didn’t really know it. It was a great plot and lead to some of Kirk’s first manifestations of OCDish behaviour – he thought he got blood on his hands during a scene, so in subsequent scenes throughout XET’s history and especially when he was undergoing a stressful situation, he was fastidious about washing his hands.
Now, I forgot to mention above is that one of the coolest things about Hastur is that it’s very personal. It warps realty in ways that seem like its speaking only to you. You might walk into a room and there’s paintings on the walls and when you look closely the scenes are all dramatic parts of your own life. You might turn on the radio and hear your own father singing a song you remember from your childhood. That was what made it so cool and so dangerous. At a time that people feel alienated and disconnected from everything, suddenly it seems that everything really is all about them. It tempts people to fall furthur.
Anyway, Hastur House freaked everyone out, and they were all convinced they’d just survived an experience that should never be spoken of again, but really it was only the beginning, the infection point, as it were (they were in danger of course, but it was easier to rally and pull away). Anyway, Max was one of the people at the party, and when it ended he left, unbeknownst to everyone else, with a copy of the King in Yellow play. I should also mention that Max is a film student.
Anyway, Part 2 of the ‘Max Trilogy’ was the Manhattan Mutant Project plot, where Max wants to do a Blair Witch style project for his film class, investigating rumors of mutants living under New York. Some of the Scooby Gang end up tagging along to help him with it, mostly in order to make sure he doesn’t exploit some poor mutant. Unfortunately, instead of mutants, they run into ghouls. This plot didn’t have much Hastur influence at all, really, it was more to drive Max a little more insane by seeing monsters. But there was one cool Hastur moment that I managed to sneak by everyone. During one of the scenes, at one point, I did a little trick. Instead of the traditional ‘pose everything to everyone’ style, I broke with it and wrote up one pose for Nat to see, and another pose that everyone else saw. They were very close, but not exactly. Nat's referred to a King. But I didn’t tell anyone I was doing that so Nat was just a little confused that nobody else commented on how weird it was, so she did, and then there was a little bit of confusion that amused me.
Anyway, I always intended a third part of the plot, where Max had gone insane but not visibly so, and was determined to film The King in Yellow and distribute it widely (which would lead to mass madness). He would get a lot of funny from mysterious foreign backers (who would be the Hong Kong branch of the Hellfire Club and a swedish Cult of Transcendence dedicated to driving humanity mad and ushering the end times), but even with that things just wouldn’t work out right. In particular he’d resort to murder to get things like costuming just right, and people involved in the production would start to commit suicide and so in. We got this started with some scenes referring to Max’s first draft, where he didn’t yet realize he shouldn’t give the actors the whole play, and they started killing themselves.
As part of this part of the plot we also did a scene where Max recruited Lydia, another NPC, to do computer graphics for his film. It was pretty cool and here's a link. The plot sort of faltered there (although it could have been resumed at any time, knowing how MUSHes work I always design ways for my plots to incorporate delays), but eventually this might have come to a series of scenes where Lydia was trying to render Carcosa for the film and Max was just not satisfied, so he drugs her drink with Space Mead and casts the spells necessary to summon a Byakhee (weird alien creature that can carry people distantly through space) and actually takes her to Carcosa to see for herself. It was going to be cool but kind of stalled.
When XET died and then came back, I was talking withlyssachan and legionfalcon and we discussed the idea of doing another one. I think the plot was again mostly legionfalcons in total construction. One of the ideas was that Dave was lost in Carcosa during the One Year Gap and that the Scoobies would have to rescue him (a dorm of Columbia also disappeared into Carcosa during the One Year Gap but I can’t recall if Dave was supposed to have disappeared there or not). Now here my memory of exact plotliness becomes a little dim. I could be wrong, but I think we discussed two plots. One where Hastur Influence took over a mall, and we got Dave back through that, but eventually he would fall again and we’d all have to go to Carcosa to try and save him. Anyway, we were talking about the first one, and somehow we got to discussing the Buffy musical and joking that we should do one of our own. And I started, again jokingly, producing parody lyrics of the song ‘Going Through The Motions’. Except then I couldn’t stop and kept doing more. Then we agreed that if we did the plot, even if we didn’t include the musical itself, we should finish it up and post it to the logs list as an alternate musical version of what happened. The plot fell through, but when the game finally gave up the ghost I just couldn’t let it go so I spent the last few weeks finishing up the rest of the Hastur Musical.
And so now I present, for the first time anywhere, the Hastur Plot Musical Homage to ‘Once More With Feeling’, Once More With Hastur!
A couple introductory notes:
1) This is not necessarily (in fact, almost certainly wasn’t) the plot as it would have occurred had we actually done it. In fact, I more or less let the songs guide the plot. However, elements of the plot (and, in fact, some elements of the song, but I can’t remember which) were of course provided bylegionfalcon and lyssachan.
2) For the lyrics I’m writing various emotional states and major plot points and such for characters that I didn’t play myself and hadn’t played with in months. So, forgive me guys if I got anything wrong from your vision of the characters, just view it as an alternate for amusement’s sake.
3) The plot was open to others, but the core of the plot was Dave, Nat, and Kirk, because they were the members of the Columbia Branch (aka Scoobies) that we had on the game when we came up with the idea. As such, since I couldn’t predict anyone else, when I wrote the musical, I only wrote songs for these characters. If this were actually a plot, obviously we would have included anyone participating more, but this “for amusement’s sake” version doesn’t consider them.
4) The musical is a song-for-song parody of the Buffy Musical for a specific reason, because all three characters were Buffy fans and loved the musical. Remember about Hastur’s influence being very personal? Well, that’s how it works. Because they loved it, that was how it manifested. Other people in the mall are not necessarily singing the same tune, but the main characters are seeing them as doing so.
5) Sometimes characters sing about things they have no logical way of knowing. This is fine in Hastur-stuff.
Okay, so the plot (or my modified, musicalized version) starts with Nat and Kirk being lead to believe that something weird might be happening at Haley Mills Plaza Mall, perhaps that Dave is leading them there. After getting there, they find Dave and all seems to be okay, maybe time works slightly differently and he doesn’t remember being in Carcosa even though he’s been giving the group cryptic messages. But then then they realize they can’t leave, the mall just seems to turn in on itself and go on forever, much like the original Hastur House Party. They also see the signs and such refer to Hastur Hills Mall, and the Yellow Sign is plastered in various places where a mall logo might be. The freakout begins. A strange robed, masked figure shows up at odd times (this is The Phantom of Truth of course, and I always intended it to be Max. Another detail that would have been slipped in there was that Max had staged an amateur stage performance of The King in Yellow in the middle of the mall just before all the wackiness started). Mannequins come to life and chase people in the mall (there are a bunch of NPCs caught in there too). People wander through stores containing their childhood, or movie theatres playing their darkest secrets for everyone. Characters get separated and reunited again. Eventually, they start to give up and lose hope, and, on his own from the others and being chased by mannequins, Kirk starts singing:
Kirk: Every single floor the same selection, mannequins in every store...
Still all that I feel is strange dejection-
the danger here is real, why aren't I feeling more?
I was feeling fine, then saw the Sign
and now I've crossed the line...
Now I'm drifting to Carcosa, I'm well on my way...
Life's a game I don't know how to play...
Feels like I'm in a daze and kind of aimless, emptiness is hard to take...
Wandering this maze I find a sameness...
Reality is fake, give it one good shake,
(pulls at the wall, it falls, revealing a surreal landscape behind it)1
and it's into Hali's lake...
I am quite aware I'm not all there but I can't seem to care...
That I'm drifting to Carcosa... Losing all my mind
Full of crazy thoughts I try to hide.
(sees other Scoobies) Now I guess I'll go say Hello... /
Pretend that I'm an upbeat fellow, / Waiting for a robe in Yellow...
Now I kind of see... / Drifting to Carcosa, / doesn't mean a thing. / All that's left of me / Is now just gonna be...
/ Waiting till I see..... The King...
-
The gang has finally met up again and they discuss what’s happening, which leads us to song #2:
Nat: "I've got a theory... it could be Djinni..."2
Kirk: "We beat the Djinni so no something isn't right there."
Dave: "I've got a theory.. it could be Fergy... he's come back and trapped us all inside his Nightmare."3
Nat: "I've got a theory... we should just get out... while we see
clearly, cause I fear we may soon start to doubt."
(Passerby): 'It could be mutants! Some evil mutants....""
(Passerby, gets the evil eye by all the others)
Which is ridiculous 'cause mutants they're misunderstood
and persecuted all the time and lots are good and I'll be over here."
Kirk: "I got a theory, it could be Nazis..."
(blank stares)
Nat: "I've got a th--..."
Kirk: "They're not all dead like history had told us...
They've now got magic spells they may haveta enfold us...
and what's with all those symbols, don't they look a bit like
swastikas anyway? NAZIS!
NAZIS! It must be NAZIS!"4
"... or maybe pod people.""5
Nat: I've got a theory... we should soon depart
Because it's clear we've, very nearly lost all of our heart
Dave: I've got a theory, it doesn't matter...
We've gone too far to try and right it
It sounds bizarre but lets not fight it
We won't all die... not how it's played...
We'll say goodbye... and slowly fade...
All: What could we do that would defeat this?
I always knew we couldn't beat this.
There's just no way... let's not be dumb.
We've lost the day... The King is Come...
All: We're too far gone to try and right it
Dave: We're too far gone…
All: It sounds bizarre but let's not fight it
Dave: No way to right it…
All: There's much worse than this…
Kirk: …like evil Nazis.
-
At this point they see the Yellow Sign again, bigger than before and all sing, to the tune of 'They Got the Mustard Out':
Look At The Yellow Sign (Look at the Yellow Sign!)
-
Okay, everyone gets separated again and does their own wandering through the mall scenes, and Nat has her first one on one encounter with the Phantom of Truth, and, as she’s in a vulnerable place (maybe she just saw something regarding her father who disowned her, etc), she starts dancing with him and singing to him…
Nat: I feel so disenchanted, as though I have lost my place
The world I took for granted, has quickly fallen from grace...
And now you appear... I know the end is near...
I'm under your spell.
What else could it be? Always knew you'd come for me...
We're in the House from Hell.
Were we ever free? Or these last years a reverie?
I've lately felt unwanted, nowhere that I could call home.
For years I've just felt haunted, that I was fated to roam...
But now it's okay... you've come to take me away...
I'm under your spell.
Can't deny it's true, I've got nothing else to do.
I'm ready, you can tell...
It's as though you knew, I was set to go with you.
I want a new dream....
(Background Interlude: Nat and the strange masked figure dance)
I wait for you to Reign, no one else knows my pain...
I'm under your spell.
Like when I'm at sea, floating there so peacefully.
You've cracked through my last shell,
David would agree, surrender is the final key...
You'll take me away....
You'll take me away....
You'll take me away....
You'll take me…
-
More time passes, Nat and Dave meet up again relatively alone. As is their usual pattern they start out fairly friendly but devolve quickly into bitterness and sniping. They get mad at each other and stop speaking except maybe for some grumpy ‘why don’t you walk through one of those doors and get lost again’, then music starts to ring out and they start to sing…
Nat: You see this guy, and ask why, with a sigh, oh
why we never...
I'd think we might, then we'd fight, it changed right
like the weather
He'd call himself a friend, but then he'd leave for months on end...
But sometimes I pretend...
I'll never tell…
Dave: See here this girl, I'd give her a whirl, but I'd hurl
were I with her...
She smells like fish and would kiss any dish...
--But no I'm not bitter...
I don't know what to say, sometimes I stop and wonder, hey...
But maybe if someday...
No... I'll never tell...
Both: Because there's nothing to tell...
Nat: He's rude
Dave: She's skanky
Nat: He's often really cranky
Dave: She'd do the hanky-panky with a demon witch...
Nat: Our suite,
was swanky,
Dave: She made it seem all danky
Nat: But when his spirits sank he made it such a bitch.
Both: I guess... we're just not fated...
Nat: And it's best we never dated
Dave: Oh as if you ever rated,
Kirk (walking briefly on scene): And imagine 'If They Mated'...
(he carries with him a drawing of a bald, crying mermaid wearing
a crown labelled, 'Charlene Blake-Haller, Queen of Angst!', then
leaves for the remainder of the song)6
Both: But it’s all very well, cause God knows I’ll never tell..
Nat: I think it's sad, he
has problems with his Daddy,
Look now he's getting mad, he
doesn't want me to say...
Dave: She'd push me to the brink and
drive any man to drink and
She's go-
Nat (interrupting): He's gay I think, and
Dave: This is my verse, okay?
Nat: Look at me!
I'm dancin' crazy!
(dance break)
Dave: Your angst
is kind of shocking..
Nat: Oh look who's talking...
Dave: But, oh, even with the newbies,
You're the cutest of the Scoobies
With your firm yet supple--
scaly face!
Dave (sadly): I'm just... below her
Can't give her what I'd owe her,
That's why I cannot show her
- how I really feel
Nat: Can't help believing
If I'm stuck water breathing
That Dave would wind up leaving
Cause he couldn't 'deal'...
Both: I lied
I said it's over
We’ve tried
And yet things never quite gel.
Dave: Is it safe for her or should she flee?
Nat: Do I want him cause he don't want me?
Dave: If we started to get closer
Would I drag her to Carcosa?
Nat: If we moved out of this limbo
would he leave me for some bimbo?
Both: Are we hopeless?
Are we dopey?
Were we meant to be this mopey?
And if Cupid had some hope he'd
get us out of this hell.
Dave: So, no way,
I'll never tell
Nat: I swear
That I’ll never tell
Dave: My lips
Are sealed
Nat: I take the fifth
Dave: Nothing to see,
Nat: Move it along
Both: I’ll never
Tell
(both wind up kissing as the song ends, and then when they're not caught by the music they separate and glare at each other and stalk off in opposite directions. HAHAHAHAHA)
-
A bit later some character walks by one of the players in the King in Yellow play who’s gotten super depressed and suicidal, and so instead of the Parking Meter Lady we have…
I just wanted to be a star...
He said the play would take me far...
And help my career grow...
But in that play we helped to make...
There was such beauty, hard to take...
It made reality seem fake,
So now my blood must flow...
(she slits her wrists, down not across)
I believe now that I'm awake
That this was really my big break...
-
But then they leave because really they’re just passing through and absorbed in their own thoughts. Next we have a Dave solo song. In particular, it probably should be set in some kind of gallery where he can look at various people in his life and sing to each of them while they’re not actually there. Maybe one of the previously mentioned ‘stores selling bits of your life’. I could really see it if Dave’s looking at a picture of Nat with a price tag on it saying ‘Love Hate Relationship: $19.99’ or a photo with Xavier and Dave together with ‘Absent Father: $9.99’ or The King in Yellow with ‘Your Future: ‘ labelled on it. Anyway, his song is:
(Dave sings the whole song while being confronted by shades or representatives of people he knows)
To Nat:
I lied, in half the things I said...
The way you make me feel scares me halfway dead.
But how you always wind me up, it messes with my head...
To Dad:
I know, you never wanted me...
You'd just as soon I go away, somewhere you wouldn't see...
If I told you what I thought about, Dad would you charge a fee?
To King In Yellow:
And you, you're lurking on the edge...
You've found the cracks inside my head, driven in the wedge...
To All: But all of you are driving me, to go and climb a ledge...
You make me lose my mind.
Make me lose my mind! Make me flip my lid!
Make me lose my grip on everything and just unleash my Id
Sometimes I wish you'd win and I could leave the world behind...
So make me lose my mind!
You know, I have a frequent dream...
(at this point suddenly Dave is singing in a straightjacket)
Where I'm locked up in asylum, and all this just a gleam...7
But it's not true cause all of you,
just make me wanna scream!
And make me lose my mind!
I go with the flow,
But I know sometime soon they'll see the clues...
That my sanity is mostly ruse,
That the King is come, I've heard the news
Sometimes I wish I could drown in booze...
If I give in, I'll find my muse
I know He'll win,
and make me lose my mind! Make me flip my lid!
Make me lose my grip on everything and just unleash my Id
Sometimes I wish you'd win and I could leave the world behind...
Make me lose my mind!
Go on and make me lose my mind!
-
Nat has a brief little whiny song as she’s falling further and further into despair, mostly just to make sure every song, no matter how small, is represented.
Nat: Does anybody even notice?
Does anybody even care?
-
More scenes. In particular, Dave hooks up with a few NPCs, humans who just happened to be caught in the mall when Hastur influence descended on it. They look to him to leadership for some reason, but The Phantom of Truth is ready to take Dave away again, along with others, and he has his own song to sing…
PoT: Hear those distant drums? Don't they sound so fine?
For soon the last king comes, and his majesty is not just mine!
I must choose, before he gets closer...
Who will come with us to dim Carcosa,
So now tell me, chums, who here has seen the Sign?
Things are nearly done... soon you shall awake!
Watch the second sun, sink below the misty lake...
It's my job to do all the judgin'
And once I decide there's no way I'm budgin'...
There's no where to run, your souls are mine to take...
'Cause my world is the re-al world.
My world is the true real wo - rld.
Cyndi (spoken): What are you, some kinda like, demon?
PoT: Now I gotta know, where do you belong?
Got a special glow, and you sing a different song!
And since that day you were created
You've felt naught but alienated
When it's time to go, won't you please come along?
Isn't it clear? You brought me here,
So let me do my task...
It's time to leave, soon you'll believe,
And know I wear no mask!
'Cause my world is the re - al world.
Dave: As your guest, one request, I've a question to pop you?
PoT: Join me in the re - al, world!
Dave: I'm no dope, there's no hope, I'm not groping to stop you...
PoT: Strange is the night where black stars rise
And strange moons circle through the skies.
Dave: Please hold back, your attack, there's one fact that I've keyed on...
PoT: Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
where flap the tatters of the king8
Dave: This whole thing? Where we sing? You're ripping off Whedon...?
Jack Wayne (spoken): Whedon?
Dave (spoken): Yah-huh! The Buffy musical, remember?
Other guy (spoken): I thought we were all doing a version of R. Kelly's hip hopera.
Film Geek (spoken): What? We've been wandering through Fellini films for the last day, I just didn't say anything because nobody else 'got it'.
Phantom of Truth (spoken): It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
PoT (sung): There's no where to run, your souls are mine to take...
-
He sends his mannequins off to chase the group. They all run off, and Dave keeps a group together with him, including Jack Wayne and Cyndi (anyone recognize those names?) but the mannequins are too fast. The group all falls together in a pile. Next we see Dave in a pile of lifeless mannequins… who are wearing the clothes of the people with him.
Yes, Dave, in a moment of panic, absorbed the minds of the people with him to help him save himself. And it worked, to an extent. He draws off their sanity and for the rest of the plot he’s… well, not as sane, but more centered and able to withstand Hastur influence. And he’s finally become more like his canon counterpart. But before we can really see the results of that, we move onto Kirk, who has typically the most outwardly hopeful of the group, wanting to get out and ‘we can do it together’, but secretly he’s as hopeless with everyone and in fact he’s worried he’s…
Kirk: Put a face on for the world outside.
They think I'm open, but I really hide.
I keep my feelings all bottled up inside...
But I...
They think I'm solid, but inside I'm broke
And all the others think we're gonna croak
I laugh it all off with a silly joke
But I...
I wish I could say the answers came to me with ease...
Wish I could pray for solace, and go down on my knees,
Wish I could sta - y but I'm caught in the breeze
About to drift away...
I'm all alone now, even with my friends...
How close I am now, no one comprehends
Feel like I'm the one on whom everyone depends.
But I...
I wish I could weigh the options and know what we're to do,
Wish I could delay the ending, or help us make it through
Wish I could sta - y but if you only knew..
I'm about to drift away
just about to drift away...
-
Again, to keep the theme of the Buffy Musical, Nat shows up singing and it becomes a duet but neither of them realizes it. Nat has a moment of strength where she considers trying again to fight, but it’s only fleeting…
Nat: I'm under your spell.
But what thought is this? Giving up my perfect bliss?
I know you'll treat me well...
But there's much I'd miss... Would I have another kiss?
I want my old dream
Kirk (entering on dream): And dreaming it won't make it so-o...
Both: And I'm torn because I want to g - o...
But I don't kn - ow.
(Simultaneous / round) -
Kirk: I wish I could say the answers came to me with ease...
Nat: Wish I could say that Dave felt this way
Kirk: Wish I could pray for solace, and go down on my knees,
Nat: And it's not his way to play, I can't delay, but it's too gray this day to say...
Both: Wish I could sta - y.
Wish I could sta - y.
Wish I could sta - y.
Wish I could - stay.
-
Nat continues to get worse, as she’s pretty much been completely isolated since her Dave song. It’s beginning to weigh on her and she’s getting very close to being drawn into Carcosa. But now we see Dave and Kirk start to turn themselves around, Dave because he’s got the community of other minds to draw on, and Kirk because he realizes that even if he doesn’t make it he still wants to help his friends.
Nat: Look at my life, and what do you see?
I can't name one thing that I'd miss...
I once had friends...
But where are they in the end?
What kind of life is this?
In this cruel world, what's here for me?
What's left to hope for if I stay?
A life at sea, or just SeaWorld maybe...
I don't care anyway...
So I won't fight for my life...
Cause it’s all so fake
I won't fight for my life, because it...
Kirk:
This crazy mall is draining me,
Feel like giving up this war...
But I can't fade... the others need my aid!
So I'll go on some more...
Phantom of Truth:
What do you want with your lives?
Come now it's time to wake...
Kirk (joins): For it's time to wake,
Kirk: And we will fight for our lives, although they...
PoT (simultaneous): For you will give up your lives, because they…
(Dave sings the next set of lines as though he's different people
all played by the same actor)
Dave: (holding up lipstick speculatively) Does this lipstick look too slutty?
Dave (angrily): Shut up kid, now look here buddy...
How are we supposed to share a brain?
Dave (snapping out of the anger, into his own personality):
All these minds in here besieging...
Truly now our name is Legion.
How is it this makes me feel more sane?
Dave and Kirk (sung together, but physically apart):
We'll see it through, it's what we're always here to do,
So we will fight for our lives.
(Nat thinks she sees the others and that they see her and turn from her, but really they didn’t see her at all)
Nat: So one by one, they've turned from me,
I guess I'm in this all alone...
Kirk: We’re not too late…
Nat: But thems the breaks, I've made enough mistakes,
Kirk: To try and fight it...
Nat: And never can atone.
Dave (to himself): Scaly face will likely waver.
PoT (simultaneous): So one by one, they come to me
Dave (to himself): If she needs you then go save her!
PoT (simultaneous): The subtle yellow as their guide
Dave (to himself): I don't think we'll make it there in time...
Nat (simultaneous): Drifting to Carcosa...
Dave: Victory may just be pyrrhic...
PoT (simultaneous): This simple shell
Kirk: Great I get the filler lyric?9
PoT (simultaneous); Ain’t what whey have in mind.
Dave: Can you all forgive me for my crime?
PoT (simultaneous): It’s what they have inside…
Nat: These endless days are finally ending in a haze!
PoT (simultaneous): She will come to m - e.
Dave and Kirk: But we will fight for our lives,
For one another’s sake,
So we will fight for our lives,
although they ache!
Though they aaaaa-che!
Though they ache!
Though they ache!
PoT (spoken): It’s time.
-
Finally, as Nat’s ready to give in completely, realizing that everything she cares about has abandoned her or is irrelevant, she gives her final big song. I picture at least part of this done while Nat’s swimming in one of those big fountains malls sometimes have. Just because that’s a cool mental image.
Nat: Life's a show, performers with no wage...
All acting in a cage,
So we can't see backstage...
We all hope, with drama this intense...
the plot will make some sense
But that is all pretense...
Order is... a lie!
Everything... decays!
Wishes don't... come true!
There's no god... who cares.
Not me. No more.
And I don't understand...
How you can think that anything's planned...
It makes no sense...
Kirk (spoken): Scotty, Spock, Bones, you know what to do… (his avatars start dancing behind her)10
Nat: It makes no sense...
I've got nothing left in me
Give me something to care about!
I need something to care about!
(she dives into a fountain
Life is deep, but I am out of vim...
They filled it to the brim.
And I'm too weak to swim...
I could drown or I could learn to float
On each discordant note
and know them all by rote...
Chaos is... an art
Tearing things... apart
Tearing up... my heart
Giving in... is smart
That's just... the start...
My King's been searching long...
For someone else who shares his song...
(turns to the strange, dim figure in the distance)
Now I can see
You've come for me...
Life is a bane.
It took its toll,
The hue of my soul...
is Yellow.
So I ask again
I need something
or I'll leave with the King
in Yellow.
I see the King in Yellow!
(falls to her knees, cries)
So give me something to care about…
Please give me something…
(cries until…)
Dave:
You should have known...
I'd come for you, we'll make it through
Together...
Kirk:
You're not alone...
We beat him before
We'll do it once more
Together
Dave and Kirk:
We'll face the King together
Dave and Kirk and Nat:
We'll rise or fall together...
Phantom of Truth (spoken): "Behold, the King is come."
-
At this point there’s a sense of dread as the King gets closer and closer, but the three talk about staying together and fighting it and they look away for a second and the next the distant figure is simply gone. But the Phantom in Truth sings one last song…
Phantom of Truth:
Say you wanna run, you say you're not ready...
I'm a patient one, so I think I'll leave you be...
But the King can't die, he merely slumbers.
You've seen his Sign, so, he's got your numbers
You may think you've won, but you're never free!
-
On the last note the Phantom simply collapses into a pile of robes and a mask, as though he never truly was there at all, that he was a puppet on strings or something. Although in the pile the group might find some evidence of Max, like perhaps the inside of the PoT Mask looks exactly like Max’s face. But the group realizes that it’s over, at least for now, but they thought that last time, which leads them to one more song:
Nat: Where do we go from here?
All: Where do we go from here?
We have some doubt,
that we've gotten out
Do we sound our victory cheer?
Where do we go from here?
Why is the path unclear?
When it seems home is near
Seems to be
That we've gotten free
But it's just a pause we fear
Dave: Tell me
All: Where do we go from here?
When does the end appear?
(Dave leaves)
When do the trumpets cheer?
Take one good look,
See our souls are shook...
We can tell the end is near
(Nat also leaves after Dave)
Kirk (and maybe some surviving NPCs): Where do we go from here?
Nat: Look at my life, and what do you see?
Dave (overlapping): I lied,
Nat: I can't name one thing that I'd miss...
Dave: in half the things I said...
Nat: This isn't real, but I just need to feel
Dave: The way you make me feel...
(They kiss)
Kirk: Where do we go from here?
-
Then Dave slips into one of his alternate personas and does something that wrecks the moment,
Footnotes:
Closing Notes:
As I said, a lot of this plot sort of formed itself around the music and what songs I could make work and what couldn’t. So in this version (but again, probably not what would have happened if we actually played it), it sort of seems that the plot was, boiled down into a paragraph or so summary, was this: Hastur influence comes again and tries to get the Scoobies. They all start to falter in their own ways, but Nat comes the closest to being drawn in. Despite being the farthest gone at the start of the plot, Dave managed to recover his sanity and together with Kirk they rally around Nat and manage to save her too.
So, there we go! I tried to deal with one theme for each character. Kirk’s was that he pretty much cares about others more than himself. When left alone, he’d fail, but because his friends are in danger he has the strength to fight it off. But even if he were surrounded by friends, unless they actually needed his help he might still fail. He doesn’t put much value on his life unless others need him. Dave’s was insanity and fear of such drawing him into danger. He ironically survives in the end through even more insanity, although it’s only a temporary reprieve because Hastur still wants him (perhaps only leaving him alive as a vector for more insanity). Nat’s was abandonment and rejection. She’s had a string of bad relationships, was rejected by her father when she revealed she was a mutant, and when it looked like she was all alone in this, she was doomed and saved when her friends came to help her.
So they all survive another day and go home. Now, aside from the Hastur Hills Mall plot, I think there probably would have been at least one more plot, where one character (probably Dave) goes full on into Carcosa and the rest of the Scoobies have to go there to rescue him. There they’d also encounter the students from the Columbia Dorm that just disappeared, and of course all the weirdness of Carcosa, which is again more dreamlike than the dreamlands. (here’s a good free online writeup of what a visit to Carcosa, in Call of Cthulhu/Delta Green might be like). Dave would disappear and the others might go to Alzis looking for a way to rescue him.
Still, I think it would have been a lot of fun, although I think that would probably have to be the last of Hastur/Carcosa related plots for us for a while, as there was a danger of going to that well too many times. Some might say we would have done so already with the musical plot, but I would have loved it, personally.
Aside from the Buffy musical homage in the Hastur plot, I’ve done a bunch of other filkish songs celebrating XET over the years. The first few were done as a dubious treat for the XETty awards, or hidden in secret commands on the game as an easter egg, but a couple never made it anywhere but in my own files. So, behind the cut, the full song parodies of XET!
Most people on my friendslist who care a whit about XET have seen many of these already, but I wanted them in the mix anyway.
(Magneto takes the stage and sings:)
I am the very model of a modern mutant general
My agents' mutant powers range from animal to mineral,
I fight for mutants rights against humanity's oppression, all,
They make my people vanish but I take it all professional.
I fund my revolution well with stolen bars of nazi gold,
I think I'm doing pretty swell for a man eighty-odd years old
My most trusted operative can destroy a building with a glance,
Then there's our favorite weather witch that he is trying to romance...
All brotherhood members chime in with: Then there's our favorite weather witch that he is trying to romance!
Then there's our favorite weather witch that he is trying to romance!
Then there's our favorite weather witch that he is trying to romance!
Magneto sings again:
In scouting out a target, just to minimize the trip's danger
I send in a girl who's also a metamorphic shapechanger
In short with agents' powers ranged from animal to mineral
I am the very model of a modern mutant general!
All Brotherhooders: In short with agents' powers ranged from animal to mineral
He is the very model of a modern mutant general!
Magneto:
We drink a lot of coffee deep down inside our Aussie base,
And then I shoo them out to go and smash some neo-nazi face!
It may surprise you if you knew I do not hate all humans yet
In fact I know of quite a few who'd wind up as terrific pets.
It's on this point I find that I do differ most from Xavier,
I strive for domination, but his goals are somewhat wavier...
Charles has some crazy plan of heroic acts endearing us,
But we think we'd do better in encouraging them fearing us.
All Brotherhooders: But we think we'd do better in encouraging them fearing us.
But we think we'd do better in encouraging them fearing us.
But we think we'd do better in encouraging them fearing us!
Magneto:
I know that all my agents follow orders without questioning,
What happens if they betray me, we're better off not mentioning!
In short with agents' powers ranged from animal to mineral,
I am the very model of a modern mutant general!
All Brotherhooders: In short with agents' powers ranged from animal to mineral
He is the very model of a modern mutant general!
Magneto:
In fact, when I have safehouses in every corner of the globe,
When no mutant's body is the target of a doctor's probe,
When we've recruited all the best to join us in our noble cause,
And when we have gotten all the rest out of Weapon X's paws,
When I have cleansed the planet of every trace of opposition,
When the US legislature is of mutant composition--
In short, when I have changed the world so humans are considered bad,
You'll say a better Mutant General the world has ne-ver had.
All Brotherhooders: You'll say a better Mutant General the world has never had.
You'll say a better Mutant General the world has never had. You'll say a better Mutant General the world has ne-ver had.
Magneto:
Though with my helmet on I think that I inspire greater dread,
I really wish that people would stop calling me "Old Buckethead."
But still, with agents powers ranged from animal to mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Mutant General.
All Brotherhooders: But still, with agents powers ranged from animal to mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Mutant General.
-
His name was Charles, he was a mutant...
With a smooth head devoid of hair and a mind beyond compare.
He taught genetics, and worked with orphans
But at his mansion, underground,
Another side of him was found
With books of occult lore, he feared to know much more...
Someone had to stop the darkness
from coming through the door!
(chorus)
From the Mansion (X!) Mansion sub-levels! (Mansion sublevels!)
Fighting hatred and mutants and devils! (Eek!)
From the Mansion (X!) Mansion sub-levels!
Where mutants are training to stop evil reigning...
From the Mansion... they save the world!
And then came Logan, and young Sam Guthrie
Oh these two mutants joined his team, and they bought into his dream.
Mutants were rumored, and tabloid fodder
But once Magneto crashed the roof,
The world now had mutant proof.
And the Professor knew what his nemesis could do.
Humans feared and oh how they hated...
But was war abrew?
From the Mansion (X!) Mansion Sublevels (Mansion Sublevels!)
Fighting hatred and mutants and devils!(Eek!)
From the Mansion (X!), Mansion sublevels
Mutants are training to stop evil reigning...
From the Mansion... they keep the peace...
-
Come and listen to the story 'bout the mutant Pack,
Guy named Wraith felt they should watch each other's back.
It wasn't long before they had their own Den...
And had the right stuff to keep 'em growin'.
Lures, that is. Free meals! Pretty girls!
Well, next thing you know the Pack are millionaires.
Humans sure weren't happy they were even there...
Said "All you Muties are a plague, we can see..."
They blew up the Den, and Pack moved to the Aerie...
Forge's that is... Holodomes... Robo-Maids!
They spent some time under Coyote's watchful gaze,
But as time went on some'd go their separate ways..
Zan bought a firehouse so a few could ride the pole,
Kelly stayed with her Net, n' practiced mind control...
Cult, that is. Blood rituals, goddess worship.
Well now you know the story of the Pack's whole rise to fame
Spent a goodly time as most active on the game,
Every mutant's welcome to visit as a guest
Or come and join the Pack for what they are doing best...
Angsting, that is! Woe is me, I'm a monster!
-
Speaking of the Pack, I always wanted to try to do a song ‘Kelly’ to the tune of ‘Mandy’, but I don’t know the song beyond the chorus and never cared to download it and try to get the tune. But the gist of it would be:
Oh Kelly,
You came and you spiked without asking,
Now it’s stuck in my brain, oh Kelly.
You scare me when you’re multitasking…
You’ll drive me insane, oh Kelly
Or maybe,
Oh Kelly,
You came and you spiked without asking,
Now I’m losing my mind, oh Kelly.
You scare me when you’re multitasking…
And you’re using my mind, oh Kelly.
One of the two.
And finally, a little Disney music for a Great Old One. Hell, Mickey would make perfect Great Old One fodder, if you ask me. But this is about a familiar Mythos face…
Cthulhu lies always dreaming...
Deep below the ocean tide,
There will be lots of screaming,
When he wakes and opens wide..
Just look at the world around you
It is a fantastic sight
But Old Ones will soon surround you
As soon as the stars are right!
Under the sea, under the sea
There'll be surprises, when R'lyeh rises,
Take it from me
Oh once the veil is torn away,
It'll be mankind's last day
Those who are not dead, are out of their head
Under the sea, ha ha...
Now your bulb is not the dullest,
And maybe you'll start to feel,
Cthulhu's got lots of cultists,
You might want to make a deal.
Deep Ones can't wait to revive him,
But their plans have a kinky hook
If your offspring is to survive then,
They'd best have the Innsmouth look!
Under The Sea!
Under The Sea!
Tentacles writhing,
if you went diving,
then you could see!
If you'd check out his swanky pad,
Under the sea you might go mad,
R'yleh seems mangled,
impossibly angled
Under the sea
Under the sea..
If you could wake him,
That might just make him,
Very grumpy!
But still the day will soon arrive,
And you might wish you weren't alive,
Prepare for your doom guys,
Remember his tomb lies,
Under the sea...
(Instead of the 'listing out the crustacean band' part, here we
simply have cultists chanting in an awful language)
Under the sea
Under the sea
You may be far gone,
Food for the star spawn,
Eventually,
What do you think, you're really neat?
To all of them you're just more meat.
Even a Deep One,
If you won't (bleep) one,
Under the sea
Father Dagon here
needs a bon-bon here,
Under the sea
Setting your place here,
No need to say grace here
Don't be a dummy,
Live meat tastes yummy,
You're outta luck here
Down in the muck here
Under the sea!
-
And that’s it!
Next up is our final planned entry, where I’ll just throw out a bunch of loose character concepts and plots that didn’t fit in any other entry.
Of all the plots we’ve done, I think my favorites were the Hastur related plots, based on the modified Hastur mythos in Delta Green (specifically, the sourcebook Countdown). We did a number of plots where the Columbia Branch got involved with them.
Quick summary for those who aren’t terribly familiar with it. Before DG Hastur was described as another tentacled monster related to Carcosa and the King in Yellow. After, it was not an entity at all, but rather a natural force of insidious entropy that some people worshipped as an entity because it seemed intelligent. Hastur tears things down from within, striking up and taking vulnerable people and civilizations. Typical themes of Hastur involve surrealism, alienation, unrestrained creative forces, melancholy and despair, decadence, and the aesthetics of the Victorian/Edwardian era (at least on Earth, partially because that’s when Hastur influence first began to worm its way into Earth). The King in Yellow was a banned play published around the turn of the 20th century, that drove anyone who read it mad dealing with the absorption of the alien city Yhtill by Carcosa, sort of a cosmic entropic sinkhole, a ghost metropolis more dreamlike than even the Dreamlands. The King in Yellow himself is a manifestation of Hastur that resembles a person and whose arrival means doom. The Hastur Vibe is almost like a mental virus and can be spread by others who are infected, through the King in Yellow play, or through the Yellow Sign, a symbol that appears to move when you’re looking at it. Another important figure is the Phantom of Truth, who wears a mask that is not a mask, and possesses someone in an area on the brink of being absorbed into Carcosa. The Phantom of Truth passes the final judgement.
There. Got that out of the way, hopefully not too confusingly because I’ll be referring to these elements pretty freely. Okay, I initially wanted to Hastur as a planned trilogy around an NPC named Max. He was a student, a relatively nice, though moderately annoying, guy who would gradually become insane.
The first part was the Hastur House plot, run by
legionfalcon, where a bunch of students went to a party and put through a hellish experience where doors lead to the wrong places, everyone kept getting separated, and all around weird things started to happen. This was the beginning of their infection of the Hastur Vibe, although they didn’t really know it. It was a great plot and lead to some of Kirk’s first manifestations of OCDish behaviour – he thought he got blood on his hands during a scene, so in subsequent scenes throughout XET’s history and especially when he was undergoing a stressful situation, he was fastidious about washing his hands. Now, I forgot to mention above is that one of the coolest things about Hastur is that it’s very personal. It warps realty in ways that seem like its speaking only to you. You might walk into a room and there’s paintings on the walls and when you look closely the scenes are all dramatic parts of your own life. You might turn on the radio and hear your own father singing a song you remember from your childhood. That was what made it so cool and so dangerous. At a time that people feel alienated and disconnected from everything, suddenly it seems that everything really is all about them. It tempts people to fall furthur.
Anyway, Hastur House freaked everyone out, and they were all convinced they’d just survived an experience that should never be spoken of again, but really it was only the beginning, the infection point, as it were (they were in danger of course, but it was easier to rally and pull away). Anyway, Max was one of the people at the party, and when it ended he left, unbeknownst to everyone else, with a copy of the King in Yellow play. I should also mention that Max is a film student.
Anyway, Part 2 of the ‘Max Trilogy’ was the Manhattan Mutant Project plot, where Max wants to do a Blair Witch style project for his film class, investigating rumors of mutants living under New York. Some of the Scooby Gang end up tagging along to help him with it, mostly in order to make sure he doesn’t exploit some poor mutant. Unfortunately, instead of mutants, they run into ghouls. This plot didn’t have much Hastur influence at all, really, it was more to drive Max a little more insane by seeing monsters. But there was one cool Hastur moment that I managed to sneak by everyone. During one of the scenes, at one point, I did a little trick. Instead of the traditional ‘pose everything to everyone’ style, I broke with it and wrote up one pose for Nat to see, and another pose that everyone else saw. They were very close, but not exactly. Nat's referred to a King. But I didn’t tell anyone I was doing that so Nat was just a little confused that nobody else commented on how weird it was, so she did, and then there was a little bit of confusion that amused me.
Anyway, I always intended a third part of the plot, where Max had gone insane but not visibly so, and was determined to film The King in Yellow and distribute it widely (which would lead to mass madness). He would get a lot of funny from mysterious foreign backers (who would be the Hong Kong branch of the Hellfire Club and a swedish Cult of Transcendence dedicated to driving humanity mad and ushering the end times), but even with that things just wouldn’t work out right. In particular he’d resort to murder to get things like costuming just right, and people involved in the production would start to commit suicide and so in. We got this started with some scenes referring to Max’s first draft, where he didn’t yet realize he shouldn’t give the actors the whole play, and they started killing themselves.
As part of this part of the plot we also did a scene where Max recruited Lydia, another NPC, to do computer graphics for his film. It was pretty cool and here's a link. The plot sort of faltered there (although it could have been resumed at any time, knowing how MUSHes work I always design ways for my plots to incorporate delays), but eventually this might have come to a series of scenes where Lydia was trying to render Carcosa for the film and Max was just not satisfied, so he drugs her drink with Space Mead and casts the spells necessary to summon a Byakhee (weird alien creature that can carry people distantly through space) and actually takes her to Carcosa to see for herself. It was going to be cool but kind of stalled.
When XET died and then came back, I was talking with
lyssachan and legionfalcon and we discussed the idea of doing another one. I think the plot was again mostly legionfalcons in total construction. One of the ideas was that Dave was lost in Carcosa during the One Year Gap and that the Scoobies would have to rescue him (a dorm of Columbia also disappeared into Carcosa during the One Year Gap but I can’t recall if Dave was supposed to have disappeared there or not). Now here my memory of exact plotliness becomes a little dim. I could be wrong, but I think we discussed two plots. One where Hastur Influence took over a mall, and we got Dave back through that, but eventually he would fall again and we’d all have to go to Carcosa to try and save him. Anyway, we were talking about the first one, and somehow we got to discussing the Buffy musical and joking that we should do one of our own. And I started, again jokingly, producing parody lyrics of the song ‘Going Through The Motions’. Except then I couldn’t stop and kept doing more. Then we agreed that if we did the plot, even if we didn’t include the musical itself, we should finish it up and post it to the logs list as an alternate musical version of what happened. The plot fell through, but when the game finally gave up the ghost I just couldn’t let it go so I spent the last few weeks finishing up the rest of the Hastur Musical. And so now I present, for the first time anywhere, the Hastur Plot Musical Homage to ‘Once More With Feeling’, Once More With Hastur!
A couple introductory notes:
1) This is not necessarily (in fact, almost certainly wasn’t) the plot as it would have occurred had we actually done it. In fact, I more or less let the songs guide the plot. However, elements of the plot (and, in fact, some elements of the song, but I can’t remember which) were of course provided by
legionfalcon and lyssachan.2) For the lyrics I’m writing various emotional states and major plot points and such for characters that I didn’t play myself and hadn’t played with in months. So, forgive me guys if I got anything wrong from your vision of the characters, just view it as an alternate for amusement’s sake.
3) The plot was open to others, but the core of the plot was Dave, Nat, and Kirk, because they were the members of the Columbia Branch (aka Scoobies) that we had on the game when we came up with the idea. As such, since I couldn’t predict anyone else, when I wrote the musical, I only wrote songs for these characters. If this were actually a plot, obviously we would have included anyone participating more, but this “for amusement’s sake” version doesn’t consider them.
4) The musical is a song-for-song parody of the Buffy Musical for a specific reason, because all three characters were Buffy fans and loved the musical. Remember about Hastur’s influence being very personal? Well, that’s how it works. Because they loved it, that was how it manifested. Other people in the mall are not necessarily singing the same tune, but the main characters are seeing them as doing so.
5) Sometimes characters sing about things they have no logical way of knowing. This is fine in Hastur-stuff.
Okay, so the plot (or my modified, musicalized version) starts with Nat and Kirk being lead to believe that something weird might be happening at Haley Mills Plaza Mall, perhaps that Dave is leading them there. After getting there, they find Dave and all seems to be okay, maybe time works slightly differently and he doesn’t remember being in Carcosa even though he’s been giving the group cryptic messages. But then then they realize they can’t leave, the mall just seems to turn in on itself and go on forever, much like the original Hastur House Party. They also see the signs and such refer to Hastur Hills Mall, and the Yellow Sign is plastered in various places where a mall logo might be. The freakout begins. A strange robed, masked figure shows up at odd times (this is The Phantom of Truth of course, and I always intended it to be Max. Another detail that would have been slipped in there was that Max had staged an amateur stage performance of The King in Yellow in the middle of the mall just before all the wackiness started). Mannequins come to life and chase people in the mall (there are a bunch of NPCs caught in there too). People wander through stores containing their childhood, or movie theatres playing their darkest secrets for everyone. Characters get separated and reunited again. Eventually, they start to give up and lose hope, and, on his own from the others and being chased by mannequins, Kirk starts singing:
Drifting To Carcosa
Kirk: Every single floor the same selection, mannequins in every store...
Still all that I feel is strange dejection-
the danger here is real, why aren't I feeling more?
I was feeling fine, then saw the Sign
and now I've crossed the line...
Now I'm drifting to Carcosa, I'm well on my way...
Life's a game I don't know how to play...
Feels like I'm in a daze and kind of aimless, emptiness is hard to take...
Wandering this maze I find a sameness...
Reality is fake, give it one good shake,
(pulls at the wall, it falls, revealing a surreal landscape behind it)1
and it's into Hali's lake...
I am quite aware I'm not all there but I can't seem to care...
That I'm drifting to Carcosa... Losing all my mind
Full of crazy thoughts I try to hide.
(sees other Scoobies) Now I guess I'll go say Hello... /
Pretend that I'm an upbeat fellow, / Waiting for a robe in Yellow...
Now I kind of see... / Drifting to Carcosa, / doesn't mean a thing. / All that's left of me / Is now just gonna be...
/ Waiting till I see..... The King...
-
The gang has finally met up again and they discuss what’s happening, which leads us to song #2:
I’ve Got A Theory… / NAZIS! / We’re Too Far Gone
Nat: "I've got a theory... it could be Djinni..."2
Kirk: "We beat the Djinni so no something isn't right there."
Dave: "I've got a theory.. it could be Fergy... he's come back and trapped us all inside his Nightmare."3
Nat: "I've got a theory... we should just get out... while we see
clearly, cause I fear we may soon start to doubt."
(Passerby): 'It could be mutants! Some evil mutants....""
(Passerby, gets the evil eye by all the others)
Which is ridiculous 'cause mutants they're misunderstood
and persecuted all the time and lots are good and I'll be over here."
Kirk: "I got a theory, it could be Nazis..."
(blank stares)
Nat: "I've got a th--..."
Kirk: "They're not all dead like history had told us...
They've now got magic spells they may haveta enfold us...
and what's with all those symbols, don't they look a bit like
swastikas anyway? NAZIS!
NAZIS! It must be NAZIS!"4
"... or maybe pod people.""5
Nat: I've got a theory... we should soon depart
Because it's clear we've, very nearly lost all of our heart
Dave: I've got a theory, it doesn't matter...
We've gone too far to try and right it
It sounds bizarre but lets not fight it
We won't all die... not how it's played...
We'll say goodbye... and slowly fade...
All: What could we do that would defeat this?
I always knew we couldn't beat this.
There's just no way... let's not be dumb.
We've lost the day... The King is Come...
All: We're too far gone to try and right it
Dave: We're too far gone…
All: It sounds bizarre but let's not fight it
Dave: No way to right it…
All: There's much worse than this…
Kirk: …like evil Nazis.
-
At this point they see the Yellow Sign again, bigger than before and all sing, to the tune of 'They Got the Mustard Out':
The Yellow Sign
Look At The Yellow Sign (Look at the Yellow Sign!)
-
Okay, everyone gets separated again and does their own wandering through the mall scenes, and Nat has her first one on one encounter with the Phantom of Truth, and, as she’s in a vulnerable place (maybe she just saw something regarding her father who disowned her, etc), she starts dancing with him and singing to him…
Under Your Spell
Nat: I feel so disenchanted, as though I have lost my place
The world I took for granted, has quickly fallen from grace...
And now you appear... I know the end is near...
I'm under your spell.
What else could it be? Always knew you'd come for me...
We're in the House from Hell.
Were we ever free? Or these last years a reverie?
I've lately felt unwanted, nowhere that I could call home.
For years I've just felt haunted, that I was fated to roam...
But now it's okay... you've come to take me away...
I'm under your spell.
Can't deny it's true, I've got nothing else to do.
I'm ready, you can tell...
It's as though you knew, I was set to go with you.
I want a new dream....
(Background Interlude: Nat and the strange masked figure dance)
I wait for you to Reign, no one else knows my pain...
I'm under your spell.
Like when I'm at sea, floating there so peacefully.
You've cracked through my last shell,
David would agree, surrender is the final key...
You'll take me away....
You'll take me away....
You'll take me away....
You'll take me…
-
More time passes, Nat and Dave meet up again relatively alone. As is their usual pattern they start out fairly friendly but devolve quickly into bitterness and sniping. They get mad at each other and stop speaking except maybe for some grumpy ‘why don’t you walk through one of those doors and get lost again’, then music starts to ring out and they start to sing…
I’ll Never Tell
Nat: You see this guy, and ask why, with a sigh, oh
why we never...
I'd think we might, then we'd fight, it changed right
like the weather
He'd call himself a friend, but then he'd leave for months on end...
But sometimes I pretend...
I'll never tell…
Dave: See here this girl, I'd give her a whirl, but I'd hurl
were I with her...
She smells like fish and would kiss any dish...
--But no I'm not bitter...
I don't know what to say, sometimes I stop and wonder, hey...
But maybe if someday...
No... I'll never tell...
Both: Because there's nothing to tell...
Nat: He's rude
Dave: She's skanky
Nat: He's often really cranky
Dave: She'd do the hanky-panky with a demon witch...
Nat: Our suite,
was swanky,
Dave: She made it seem all danky
Nat: But when his spirits sank he made it such a bitch.
Both: I guess... we're just not fated...
Nat: And it's best we never dated
Dave: Oh as if you ever rated,
Kirk (walking briefly on scene): And imagine 'If They Mated'...
(he carries with him a drawing of a bald, crying mermaid wearing
a crown labelled, 'Charlene Blake-Haller, Queen of Angst!', then
leaves for the remainder of the song)6
Both: But it’s all very well, cause God knows I’ll never tell..
Nat: I think it's sad, he
has problems with his Daddy,
Look now he's getting mad, he
doesn't want me to say...
Dave: She'd push me to the brink and
drive any man to drink and
She's go-
Nat (interrupting): He's gay I think, and
Dave: This is my verse, okay?
Nat: Look at me!
I'm dancin' crazy!
(dance break)
Dave: Your angst
is kind of shocking..
Nat: Oh look who's talking...
Dave: But, oh, even with the newbies,
You're the cutest of the Scoobies
With your firm yet supple--
scaly face!
Dave (sadly): I'm just... below her
Can't give her what I'd owe her,
That's why I cannot show her
- how I really feel
Nat: Can't help believing
If I'm stuck water breathing
That Dave would wind up leaving
Cause he couldn't 'deal'...
Both: I lied
I said it's over
We’ve tried
And yet things never quite gel.
Dave: Is it safe for her or should she flee?
Nat: Do I want him cause he don't want me?
Dave: If we started to get closer
Would I drag her to Carcosa?
Nat: If we moved out of this limbo
would he leave me for some bimbo?
Both: Are we hopeless?
Are we dopey?
Were we meant to be this mopey?
And if Cupid had some hope he'd
get us out of this hell.
Dave: So, no way,
I'll never tell
Nat: I swear
That I’ll never tell
Dave: My lips
Are sealed
Nat: I take the fifth
Dave: Nothing to see,
Nat: Move it along
Both: I’ll never
Tell
(both wind up kissing as the song ends, and then when they're not caught by the music they separate and glare at each other and stalk off in opposite directions. HAHAHAHAHA)
-
A bit later some character walks by one of the players in the King in Yellow play who’s gotten super depressed and suicidal, and so instead of the Parking Meter Lady we have…
The Leading Lady
I just wanted to be a star...
He said the play would take me far...
And help my career grow...
But in that play we helped to make...
There was such beauty, hard to take...
It made reality seem fake,
So now my blood must flow...
(she slits her wrists, down not across)
I believe now that I'm awake
That this was really my big break...
-
But then they leave because really they’re just passing through and absorbed in their own thoughts. Next we have a Dave solo song. In particular, it probably should be set in some kind of gallery where he can look at various people in his life and sing to each of them while they’re not actually there. Maybe one of the previously mentioned ‘stores selling bits of your life’. I could really see it if Dave’s looking at a picture of Nat with a price tag on it saying ‘Love Hate Relationship: $19.99’ or a photo with Xavier and Dave together with ‘Absent Father: $9.99’ or The King in Yellow with ‘Your Future: ‘ labelled on it. Anyway, his song is:
(You Make Me) Lose My Mind
(Dave sings the whole song while being confronted by shades or representatives of people he knows)
To Nat:
I lied, in half the things I said...
The way you make me feel scares me halfway dead.
But how you always wind me up, it messes with my head...
To Dad:
I know, you never wanted me...
You'd just as soon I go away, somewhere you wouldn't see...
If I told you what I thought about, Dad would you charge a fee?
To King In Yellow:
And you, you're lurking on the edge...
You've found the cracks inside my head, driven in the wedge...
To All: But all of you are driving me, to go and climb a ledge...
You make me lose my mind.
Make me lose my mind! Make me flip my lid!
Make me lose my grip on everything and just unleash my Id
Sometimes I wish you'd win and I could leave the world behind...
So make me lose my mind!
You know, I have a frequent dream...
(at this point suddenly Dave is singing in a straightjacket)
Where I'm locked up in asylum, and all this just a gleam...7
But it's not true cause all of you,
just make me wanna scream!
And make me lose my mind!
I go with the flow,
But I know sometime soon they'll see the clues...
That my sanity is mostly ruse,
That the King is come, I've heard the news
Sometimes I wish I could drown in booze...
If I give in, I'll find my muse
I know He'll win,
and make me lose my mind! Make me flip my lid!
Make me lose my grip on everything and just unleash my Id
Sometimes I wish you'd win and I could leave the world behind...
Make me lose my mind!
Go on and make me lose my mind!
-
Nat has a brief little whiny song as she’s falling further and further into despair, mostly just to make sure every song, no matter how small, is represented.
Nat’s Song
Nat: Does anybody even notice?
Does anybody even care?
-
More scenes. In particular, Dave hooks up with a few NPCs, humans who just happened to be caught in the mall when Hastur influence descended on it. They look to him to leadership for some reason, but The Phantom of Truth is ready to take Dave away again, along with others, and he has his own song to sing…
Phantom of Truth’s Song
PoT: Hear those distant drums? Don't they sound so fine?
For soon the last king comes, and his majesty is not just mine!
I must choose, before he gets closer...
Who will come with us to dim Carcosa,
So now tell me, chums, who here has seen the Sign?
Things are nearly done... soon you shall awake!
Watch the second sun, sink below the misty lake...
It's my job to do all the judgin'
And once I decide there's no way I'm budgin'...
There's no where to run, your souls are mine to take...
'Cause my world is the re-al world.
My world is the true real wo - rld.
Cyndi (spoken): What are you, some kinda like, demon?
PoT: Now I gotta know, where do you belong?
Got a special glow, and you sing a different song!
And since that day you were created
You've felt naught but alienated
When it's time to go, won't you please come along?
Isn't it clear? You brought me here,
So let me do my task...
It's time to leave, soon you'll believe,
And know I wear no mask!
'Cause my world is the re - al world.
Dave: As your guest, one request, I've a question to pop you?
PoT: Join me in the re - al, world!
Dave: I'm no dope, there's no hope, I'm not groping to stop you...
PoT: Strange is the night where black stars rise
And strange moons circle through the skies.
Dave: Please hold back, your attack, there's one fact that I've keyed on...
PoT: Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
where flap the tatters of the king8
Dave: This whole thing? Where we sing? You're ripping off Whedon...?
Jack Wayne (spoken): Whedon?
Dave (spoken): Yah-huh! The Buffy musical, remember?
Other guy (spoken): I thought we were all doing a version of R. Kelly's hip hopera.
Film Geek (spoken): What? We've been wandering through Fellini films for the last day, I just didn't say anything because nobody else 'got it'.
Phantom of Truth (spoken): It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
PoT (sung): There's no where to run, your souls are mine to take...
-
He sends his mannequins off to chase the group. They all run off, and Dave keeps a group together with him, including Jack Wayne and Cyndi (anyone recognize those names?) but the mannequins are too fast. The group all falls together in a pile. Next we see Dave in a pile of lifeless mannequins… who are wearing the clothes of the people with him.
Yes, Dave, in a moment of panic, absorbed the minds of the people with him to help him save himself. And it worked, to an extent. He draws off their sanity and for the rest of the plot he’s… well, not as sane, but more centered and able to withstand Hastur influence. And he’s finally become more like his canon counterpart. But before we can really see the results of that, we move onto Kirk, who has typically the most outwardly hopeful of the group, wanting to get out and ‘we can do it together’, but secretly he’s as hopeless with everyone and in fact he’s worried he’s…
Standing on the Edge
Kirk: Put a face on for the world outside.
They think I'm open, but I really hide.
I keep my feelings all bottled up inside...
But I...
They think I'm solid, but inside I'm broke
And all the others think we're gonna croak
I laugh it all off with a silly joke
But I...
I wish I could say the answers came to me with ease...
Wish I could pray for solace, and go down on my knees,
Wish I could sta - y but I'm caught in the breeze
About to drift away...
I'm all alone now, even with my friends...
How close I am now, no one comprehends
Feel like I'm the one on whom everyone depends.
But I...
I wish I could weigh the options and know what we're to do,
Wish I could delay the ending, or help us make it through
Wish I could sta - y but if you only knew..
I'm about to drift away
just about to drift away...
-
Again, to keep the theme of the Buffy Musical, Nat shows up singing and it becomes a duet but neither of them realizes it. Nat has a moment of strength where she considers trying again to fight, but it’s only fleeting…
Wish I Could Stay (duet)
Nat: I'm under your spell.
But what thought is this? Giving up my perfect bliss?
I know you'll treat me well...
But there's much I'd miss... Would I have another kiss?
I want my old dream
Kirk (entering on dream): And dreaming it won't make it so-o...
Both: And I'm torn because I want to g - o...
But I don't kn - ow.
(Simultaneous / round) -
Kirk: I wish I could say the answers came to me with ease...
Nat: Wish I could say that Dave felt this way
Kirk: Wish I could pray for solace, and go down on my knees,
Nat: And it's not his way to play, I can't delay, but it's too gray this day to say...
Both: Wish I could sta - y.
Wish I could sta - y.
Wish I could sta - y.
Wish I could - stay.
-
Nat continues to get worse, as she’s pretty much been completely isolated since her Dave song. It’s beginning to weigh on her and she’s getting very close to being drawn into Carcosa. But now we see Dave and Kirk start to turn themselves around, Dave because he’s got the community of other minds to draw on, and Kirk because he realizes that even if he doesn’t make it he still wants to help his friends.
Fight For Our Lives
Nat: Look at my life, and what do you see?
I can't name one thing that I'd miss...
I once had friends...
But where are they in the end?
What kind of life is this?
In this cruel world, what's here for me?
What's left to hope for if I stay?
A life at sea, or just SeaWorld maybe...
I don't care anyway...
So I won't fight for my life...
Cause it’s all so fake
I won't fight for my life, because it...
Kirk:
This crazy mall is draining me,
Feel like giving up this war...
But I can't fade... the others need my aid!
So I'll go on some more...
Phantom of Truth:
What do you want with your lives?
Come now it's time to wake...
Kirk (joins): For it's time to wake,
Kirk: And we will fight for our lives, although they...
PoT (simultaneous): For you will give up your lives, because they…
(Dave sings the next set of lines as though he's different people
all played by the same actor)
Dave: (holding up lipstick speculatively) Does this lipstick look too slutty?
Dave (angrily): Shut up kid, now look here buddy...
How are we supposed to share a brain?
Dave (snapping out of the anger, into his own personality):
All these minds in here besieging...
Truly now our name is Legion.
How is it this makes me feel more sane?
Dave and Kirk (sung together, but physically apart):
We'll see it through, it's what we're always here to do,
So we will fight for our lives.
(Nat thinks she sees the others and that they see her and turn from her, but really they didn’t see her at all)
Nat: So one by one, they've turned from me,
I guess I'm in this all alone...
Kirk: We’re not too late…
Nat: But thems the breaks, I've made enough mistakes,
Kirk: To try and fight it...
Nat: And never can atone.
Dave (to himself): Scaly face will likely waver.
PoT (simultaneous): So one by one, they come to me
Dave (to himself): If she needs you then go save her!
PoT (simultaneous): The subtle yellow as their guide
Dave (to himself): I don't think we'll make it there in time...
Nat (simultaneous): Drifting to Carcosa...
Dave: Victory may just be pyrrhic...
PoT (simultaneous): This simple shell
Kirk: Great I get the filler lyric?9
PoT (simultaneous); Ain’t what whey have in mind.
Dave: Can you all forgive me for my crime?
PoT (simultaneous): It’s what they have inside…
Nat: These endless days are finally ending in a haze!
PoT (simultaneous): She will come to m - e.
Dave and Kirk: But we will fight for our lives,
For one another’s sake,
So we will fight for our lives,
although they ache!
Though they aaaaa-che!
Though they ache!
Though they ache!
PoT (spoken): It’s time.
-
Finally, as Nat’s ready to give in completely, realizing that everything she cares about has abandoned her or is irrelevant, she gives her final big song. I picture at least part of this done while Nat’s swimming in one of those big fountains malls sometimes have. Just because that’s a cool mental image.
Give Me Something To Care About
Nat: Life's a show, performers with no wage...
All acting in a cage,
So we can't see backstage...
We all hope, with drama this intense...
the plot will make some sense
But that is all pretense...
Order is... a lie!
Everything... decays!
Wishes don't... come true!
There's no god... who cares.
Not me. No more.
And I don't understand...
How you can think that anything's planned...
It makes no sense...
Kirk (spoken): Scotty, Spock, Bones, you know what to do… (his avatars start dancing behind her)10
Nat: It makes no sense...
I've got nothing left in me
Give me something to care about!
I need something to care about!
(she dives into a fountain
Life is deep, but I am out of vim...
They filled it to the brim.
And I'm too weak to swim...
I could drown or I could learn to float
On each discordant note
and know them all by rote...
Chaos is... an art
Tearing things... apart
Tearing up... my heart
Giving in... is smart
That's just... the start...
My King's been searching long...
For someone else who shares his song...
(turns to the strange, dim figure in the distance)
Now I can see
You've come for me...
Life is a bane.
It took its toll,
The hue of my soul...
is Yellow.
So I ask again
I need something
or I'll leave with the King
in Yellow.
I see the King in Yellow!
(falls to her knees, cries)
So give me something to care about…
Please give me something…
(cries until…)
Dave:
You should have known...
I'd come for you, we'll make it through
Together...
Kirk:
You're not alone...
We beat him before
We'll do it once more
Together
Dave and Kirk:
We'll face the King together
Dave and Kirk and Nat:
We'll rise or fall together...
Phantom of Truth (spoken): "Behold, the King is come."
-
At this point there’s a sense of dread as the King gets closer and closer, but the three talk about staying together and fighting it and they look away for a second and the next the distant figure is simply gone. But the Phantom in Truth sings one last song…
Phantom’s Epilogue
Phantom of Truth:
Say you wanna run, you say you're not ready...
I'm a patient one, so I think I'll leave you be...
But the King can't die, he merely slumbers.
You've seen his Sign, so, he's got your numbers
You may think you've won, but you're never free!
-
On the last note the Phantom simply collapses into a pile of robes and a mask, as though he never truly was there at all, that he was a puppet on strings or something. Although in the pile the group might find some evidence of Max, like perhaps the inside of the PoT Mask looks exactly like Max’s face. But the group realizes that it’s over, at least for now, but they thought that last time, which leads them to one more song:
Where Do We Go From Here?
Nat: Where do we go from here?
All: Where do we go from here?
We have some doubt,
that we've gotten out
Do we sound our victory cheer?
Where do we go from here?
Why is the path unclear?
When it seems home is near
Seems to be
That we've gotten free
But it's just a pause we fear
Dave: Tell me
All: Where do we go from here?
When does the end appear?
(Dave leaves)
When do the trumpets cheer?
Take one good look,
See our souls are shook...
We can tell the end is near
(Nat also leaves after Dave)
Kirk (and maybe some surviving NPCs): Where do we go from here?
Finale
Nat: Look at my life, and what do you see?
Dave (overlapping): I lied,
Nat: I can't name one thing that I'd miss...
Dave: in half the things I said...
Nat: This isn't real, but I just need to feel
Dave: The way you make me feel...
(They kiss)
Kirk: Where do we go from here?
-
Then Dave slips into one of his alternate personas and does something that wrecks the moment,
Footnotes:
- 1. This was one of my favorite bits in the song because it gets me out of a difficult rhyme, but also because it's such a Hastur image, where a real scene peels away like a set and reveals 'the truth' behind it.
- 2. Like in the Buffy musical, the first theory suggested is actually true, in a sense. The Djinni was what the group thought was behind the original Hastur House plot.
- 3. Referring of course to Ferguson who once plagued the group's nightmares.
- 4. Kirk of course was on the plot where the X-Men fought against Occult Powered Nazis (the Karotechia) in Florida, so that's where this theory comes from.
- 5. And rounding out the 'wild plots various members of the Scoobies were involved in is the Green Earth or Pod People plot, where plant based aliens waylayed and copied various people, including Kirk in a bid for world domination.
- 6. Really couldn't think of any other way to make the rhyme, but I like how it turned out.
- 7. This refers to one of my favorite scenes in the Ferguson plot, that actually was only posted a long time afterwards, in which Dave dreams he's in an asylum and everyone he knows are all mental patients. Kirk talks to sock puppets, Nat has a water pistol, etc. Great fun.
- 8. The last couple lines from the Phantom of Truth were taken directly from 'Cassilda's Song', one of the few parts of the King In Yellow play actually quoted in the Robert W. Chambers book that introduced the concept. They fit the meter and rhyming scheme and I couldn't think of anything else to include, so I thought it'd be cool to work it in there.
- 9. Cause somebody had to! Actually I just want to mention that I gave away what where IMHO the really good songs to other people and just shoved Kirk into the songs that I couldn't think of a good reason for someone else singing.
- 10. Those were the current nicknames of Kirk's avatars (see the powers on his OHXET page).
Closing Notes:
As I said, a lot of this plot sort of formed itself around the music and what songs I could make work and what couldn’t. So in this version (but again, probably not what would have happened if we actually played it), it sort of seems that the plot was, boiled down into a paragraph or so summary, was this: Hastur influence comes again and tries to get the Scoobies. They all start to falter in their own ways, but Nat comes the closest to being drawn in. Despite being the farthest gone at the start of the plot, Dave managed to recover his sanity and together with Kirk they rally around Nat and manage to save her too.
So, there we go! I tried to deal with one theme for each character. Kirk’s was that he pretty much cares about others more than himself. When left alone, he’d fail, but because his friends are in danger he has the strength to fight it off. But even if he were surrounded by friends, unless they actually needed his help he might still fail. He doesn’t put much value on his life unless others need him. Dave’s was insanity and fear of such drawing him into danger. He ironically survives in the end through even more insanity, although it’s only a temporary reprieve because Hastur still wants him (perhaps only leaving him alive as a vector for more insanity). Nat’s was abandonment and rejection. She’s had a string of bad relationships, was rejected by her father when she revealed she was a mutant, and when it looked like she was all alone in this, she was doomed and saved when her friends came to help her.
So they all survive another day and go home. Now, aside from the Hastur Hills Mall plot, I think there probably would have been at least one more plot, where one character (probably Dave) goes full on into Carcosa and the rest of the Scoobies have to go there to rescue him. There they’d also encounter the students from the Columbia Dorm that just disappeared, and of course all the weirdness of Carcosa, which is again more dreamlike than the dreamlands. (here’s a good free online writeup of what a visit to Carcosa, in Call of Cthulhu/Delta Green might be like). Dave would disappear and the others might go to Alzis looking for a way to rescue him.
Still, I think it would have been a lot of fun, although I think that would probably have to be the last of Hastur/Carcosa related plots for us for a while, as there was a danger of going to that well too many times. Some might say we would have done so already with the musical plot, but I would have loved it, personally.
Aside from the Buffy musical homage in the Hastur plot, I’ve done a bunch of other filkish songs celebrating XET over the years. The first few were done as a dubious treat for the XETty awards, or hidden in secret commands on the game as an easter egg, but a couple never made it anywhere but in my own files. So, behind the cut, the full song parodies of XET!
Most people on my friendslist who care a whit about XET have seen many of these already, but I wanted them in the mix anyway.
Modern Mutant General
(Magneto takes the stage and sings:)
I am the very model of a modern mutant general
My agents' mutant powers range from animal to mineral,
I fight for mutants rights against humanity's oppression, all,
They make my people vanish but I take it all professional.
I fund my revolution well with stolen bars of nazi gold,
I think I'm doing pretty swell for a man eighty-odd years old
My most trusted operative can destroy a building with a glance,
Then there's our favorite weather witch that he is trying to romance...
All brotherhood members chime in with: Then there's our favorite weather witch that he is trying to romance!
Then there's our favorite weather witch that he is trying to romance!
Then there's our favorite weather witch that he is trying to romance!
Magneto sings again:
In scouting out a target, just to minimize the trip's danger
I send in a girl who's also a metamorphic shapechanger
In short with agents' powers ranged from animal to mineral
I am the very model of a modern mutant general!
All Brotherhooders: In short with agents' powers ranged from animal to mineral
He is the very model of a modern mutant general!
Magneto:
We drink a lot of coffee deep down inside our Aussie base,
And then I shoo them out to go and smash some neo-nazi face!
It may surprise you if you knew I do not hate all humans yet
In fact I know of quite a few who'd wind up as terrific pets.
It's on this point I find that I do differ most from Xavier,
I strive for domination, but his goals are somewhat wavier...
Charles has some crazy plan of heroic acts endearing us,
But we think we'd do better in encouraging them fearing us.
All Brotherhooders: But we think we'd do better in encouraging them fearing us.
But we think we'd do better in encouraging them fearing us.
But we think we'd do better in encouraging them fearing us!
Magneto:
I know that all my agents follow orders without questioning,
What happens if they betray me, we're better off not mentioning!
In short with agents' powers ranged from animal to mineral,
I am the very model of a modern mutant general!
All Brotherhooders: In short with agents' powers ranged from animal to mineral
He is the very model of a modern mutant general!
Magneto:
In fact, when I have safehouses in every corner of the globe,
When no mutant's body is the target of a doctor's probe,
When we've recruited all the best to join us in our noble cause,
And when we have gotten all the rest out of Weapon X's paws,
When I have cleansed the planet of every trace of opposition,
When the US legislature is of mutant composition--
In short, when I have changed the world so humans are considered bad,
You'll say a better Mutant General the world has ne-ver had.
All Brotherhooders: You'll say a better Mutant General the world has never had.
You'll say a better Mutant General the world has never had. You'll say a better Mutant General the world has ne-ver had.
Magneto:
Though with my helmet on I think that I inspire greater dread,
I really wish that people would stop calling me "Old Buckethead."
But still, with agents powers ranged from animal to mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Mutant General.
All Brotherhooders: But still, with agents powers ranged from animal to mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Mutant General.
-
At The Mansion (to the tune of Copacabana)
His name was Charles, he was a mutant...
With a smooth head devoid of hair and a mind beyond compare.
He taught genetics, and worked with orphans
But at his mansion, underground,
Another side of him was found
With books of occult lore, he feared to know much more...
Someone had to stop the darkness
from coming through the door!
(chorus)
From the Mansion (X!) Mansion sub-levels! (Mansion sublevels!)
Fighting hatred and mutants and devils! (Eek!)
From the Mansion (X!) Mansion sub-levels!
Where mutants are training to stop evil reigning...
From the Mansion... they save the world!
And then came Logan, and young Sam Guthrie
Oh these two mutants joined his team, and they bought into his dream.
Mutants were rumored, and tabloid fodder
But once Magneto crashed the roof,
The world now had mutant proof.
And the Professor knew what his nemesis could do.
Humans feared and oh how they hated...
But was war abrew?
From the Mansion (X!) Mansion Sublevels (Mansion Sublevels!)
Fighting hatred and mutants and devils!(Eek!)
From the Mansion (X!), Mansion sublevels
Mutants are training to stop evil reigning...
From the Mansion... they keep the peace...
-
The Packerly Hillbillies (to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies Song)
Come and listen to the story 'bout the mutant Pack,
Guy named Wraith felt they should watch each other's back.
It wasn't long before they had their own Den...
And had the right stuff to keep 'em growin'.
Lures, that is. Free meals! Pretty girls!
Well, next thing you know the Pack are millionaires.
Humans sure weren't happy they were even there...
Said "All you Muties are a plague, we can see..."
They blew up the Den, and Pack moved to the Aerie...
Forge's that is... Holodomes... Robo-Maids!
They spent some time under Coyote's watchful gaze,
But as time went on some'd go their separate ways..
Zan bought a firehouse so a few could ride the pole,
Kelly stayed with her Net, n' practiced mind control...
Cult, that is. Blood rituals, goddess worship.
Well now you know the story of the Pack's whole rise to fame
Spent a goodly time as most active on the game,
Every mutant's welcome to visit as a guest
Or come and join the Pack for what they are doing best...
Angsting, that is! Woe is me, I'm a monster!
-
Speaking of the Pack, I always wanted to try to do a song ‘Kelly’ to the tune of ‘Mandy’, but I don’t know the song beyond the chorus and never cared to download it and try to get the tune. But the gist of it would be:
Oh Kelly,
You came and you spiked without asking,
Now it’s stuck in my brain, oh Kelly.
You scare me when you’re multitasking…
You’ll drive me insane, oh Kelly
Or maybe,
Oh Kelly,
You came and you spiked without asking,
Now I’m losing my mind, oh Kelly.
You scare me when you’re multitasking…
And you’re using my mind, oh Kelly.
One of the two.
And finally, a little Disney music for a Great Old One. Hell, Mickey would make perfect Great Old One fodder, if you ask me. But this is about a familiar Mythos face…
Under The Sea (Cthulhu Lies Dreaming)
Cthulhu lies always dreaming...
Deep below the ocean tide,
There will be lots of screaming,
When he wakes and opens wide..
Just look at the world around you
It is a fantastic sight
But Old Ones will soon surround you
As soon as the stars are right!
Under the sea, under the sea
There'll be surprises, when R'lyeh rises,
Take it from me
Oh once the veil is torn away,
It'll be mankind's last day
Those who are not dead, are out of their head
Under the sea, ha ha...
Now your bulb is not the dullest,
And maybe you'll start to feel,
Cthulhu's got lots of cultists,
You might want to make a deal.
Deep Ones can't wait to revive him,
But their plans have a kinky hook
If your offspring is to survive then,
They'd best have the Innsmouth look!
Under The Sea!
Under The Sea!
Tentacles writhing,
if you went diving,
then you could see!
If you'd check out his swanky pad,
Under the sea you might go mad,
R'yleh seems mangled,
impossibly angled
Under the sea
Under the sea..
If you could wake him,
That might just make him,
Very grumpy!
But still the day will soon arrive,
And you might wish you weren't alive,
Prepare for your doom guys,
Remember his tomb lies,
Under the sea...
(Instead of the 'listing out the crustacean band' part, here we
simply have cultists chanting in an awful language)
Under the sea
Under the sea
You may be far gone,
Food for the star spawn,
Eventually,
What do you think, you're really neat?
To all of them you're just more meat.
Even a Deep One,
If you won't (bleep) one,
Under the sea
Father Dagon here
needs a bon-bon here,
Under the sea
Setting your place here,
No need to say grace here
Don't be a dummy,
Live meat tastes yummy,
You're outta luck here
Down in the muck here
Under the sea!
-
And that’s it!
Next up is our final planned entry, where I’ll just throw out a bunch of loose character concepts and plots that didn’t fit in any other entry.
