Selfish Altruism
Apr. 5th, 2004 06:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
newnumber6So, my stepmother asked me to run to the bakery before it closes and pick up some mushrooms for the pizza she was making. My back has been hurting me since yesterday morning (and was utterly horrible this morning though has been getting slowly better throughout the day). Now, she (nor anyone else in my family) is aware I'm in any pain at all. Nor do I tell them, I just say sure, and go to it, even though the walk there and back hurt.
Why do I do such things? Because I'm crazy. But beyond that, becuase I'm selfish... I dunno, it feels good. I like being 'noble', I like doing things for other people, helping them, listening to their problems so they feel better, or all around attempting to make other people's lives easier especially when they're not even aware I did anything. (Since that gives the added bonus 'I've relieved them of the guilt of feeling they owe me anything).
Oh, sure, I enjoy getting thanks too, but even then I almost enjoy it just so I can say, 'Oh, it's nothing'.
Sure, it's a small thing, and when you get right down to it, selfish, but I feel better about myself at times like this than almost any other time.
Is this something genetically hard-wired into most people, but just generally gets beaten out of people? Or is it something that you build as time goes on? Or am I a particular freak in this regard?
(I don't claim to be anything special in the altruism department. I know many people who are great, giving people, but I don't know if there's this same particular psychological quirk at play, or if other people do it for other reasons.)
To put a bit more point on it. I don't do these things because they're 'the right thing to do', in my mind. I do them because I'm aware that doing them makes _me_ feel better. But I don't know for sure that, if I didn't feel better for doing the right thing, that I would still do it just for it's own good. (I like to think I would, but that thought, too, makes me feel good).
I think I've rambled enough on this.
Why do I do such things? Because I'm crazy. But beyond that, becuase I'm selfish... I dunno, it feels good. I like being 'noble', I like doing things for other people, helping them, listening to their problems so they feel better, or all around attempting to make other people's lives easier especially when they're not even aware I did anything. (Since that gives the added bonus 'I've relieved them of the guilt of feeling they owe me anything).
Oh, sure, I enjoy getting thanks too, but even then I almost enjoy it just so I can say, 'Oh, it's nothing'.
Sure, it's a small thing, and when you get right down to it, selfish, but I feel better about myself at times like this than almost any other time.
Is this something genetically hard-wired into most people, but just generally gets beaten out of people? Or is it something that you build as time goes on? Or am I a particular freak in this regard?
(I don't claim to be anything special in the altruism department. I know many people who are great, giving people, but I don't know if there's this same particular psychological quirk at play, or if other people do it for other reasons.)
To put a bit more point on it. I don't do these things because they're 'the right thing to do', in my mind. I do them because I'm aware that doing them makes _me_ feel better. But I don't know for sure that, if I didn't feel better for doing the right thing, that I would still do it just for it's own good. (I like to think I would, but that thought, too, makes me feel good).
I think I've rambled enough on this.
