Mining my childhood for (hopefully) amusing livejournal foo!

Was cleaning out an old drawer and found a notebook, apparently a comic story I was writing when I was young. No idea how young (feel free to guess, I can narrow it down between 8 and 11 by certain references. Hopefully it's the low end of that). Since I'm on an ongoing quest to whittle down my ego, I thought I'd transcribe it and share it all.
Behold the lameness of youth (all spelling and grammar errors are as best as I can transcribe them):
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Anyway, it amused me. :)